The Twins

Who needs Hollywood Rebels? I have 9th St. Tattoo and John. John was Spider's apprentice years ago. Spider did the right leg. John did the left. I'm really happy with the work- both are my own original designs. You can get a better (but short) look next time we're on a run or ride together and I'm dropping you.

Imperial Tattoo

Soon I will be getting a new tattoo. I've been working on a design for several months off and on and it's about 99.5% complete. There are several tattoo studios in Columbia. The tattoos I have were done at a place called Dream Catcher, done by a man named Spider. I really like Spider and his work. Unfortunately, at least for my plan, Spider has moved. I think moving was a good thing for him so I'm glad he moved. Now I have to find someone else to do my tattoo. Spider had an apprentice named John a few years ago, and he is a very good artist I plan on finding if he's still around. This decision was finalized yesterday after a visit to Hollywood Rebel Tattoo. I guess Hollywood Rebel is "the" place to go nowadays and several people have recommended it to me. I have been there a couple of times to get estimates on a couple of different designs. The problem is I always get the feeling that this place is too cool and not very welcoming to those who don't seem as cool- like me. When I went there yesterday there were about four guys hanging out in front of the store. As I walked up to the door they just looked at me like "What do you want?" I don't know if they worked there or were just hanging out. So I go to open the door and one guy asked what I needed. Obviously, he worked there so I told him I wanted an estimate. I showed him my work and we began to talk. A moment later, out comes this big guy cussing and throwing a fit talking about how he hates foreigners and how they can't speak English and blah, blah, blah. It was bad enough that the guy I was talking to kind of told that guy to chill out and then asked us to go inside with him where he then apologized for the other guy. I could tell he was a little embarrassed by the situation. We finished talking and we left. I knew at that point I wouldn't be getting any tattoo done at that place. I just can't see going somewhere to have my body permanently altered that has people working there who don't accept others. Language barriers can be frustrating but I felt like asking the big angry guy why he didn't just speak in the foreigners language if English was such a problem. The fact is that a foreigner who can speak English to any standard is doing a better job than an American who can't speak a lick of any other language because he or she thinks that English is the universal language. I love America, but we're not the center of the universe. It's ironic that a place that has rebel in its name actually has people with conformist philosophies. I don't know, maybe it'd be a good place to get a swastika tattooed on my ass.

Messing with a man's vehicle

Some things are valued by women that men don't really care about. Other things are valued by men that women don't really care about and don't understand why men would value them. One of those things to this man is his ride. I've had several cars, trucks, and SUV's in the time I've been driving. Ever since my first car, 1979 Volkswagon Scirocco, I've always taken the best care I can of my vehicle. It's just something I do. Some vehicles don't need as much care. I used to have a Honda Element with plastic quarter panels that weren't painted. I could lean my bikes up against that thing and not worry about any damage. Also, all those vehicles were fairly cheap. I'd take care of them like they were worth much more than they were, but I knew little things happening to them was not a big deal.

Now I have a Honda Ridgeline RTL- the best of the Ridgeline line. This is the nicest vehicle I've ever owned and I see no need to ever go beyond. So I take care of it like I plan to have it until it dies. Maybe 10 years- who knows? So I do what I have to in order to keep it in like new condition. Don't get me wrong- I use it for everything from hauling wood to mowers to furniture. But inside it's a luxury ride: big comfy leather heated seats, lots of room, tinted windows, quiet, and a way smooth ride.

I always walk extra in parking lots so I can have plenty of room to keep others away from my ride. I don't double park- I think that's rude. But I always take the extra precautions to keep it safe.

Yesterday, Leslie and I went to Flatbranch to meet with a group for a friend's birthday. There were no places to park at or around the restaurant so I wound up going to the parking garage. I parked on the end of a row near a handicap space and hugged the line of the handicap spot so anyone parking on my other side would have plenty of room. When we came out there was a piece of shit old rusty pickup parked next to my truck. When I got to my door I could see that the passenger of that heap had hit my door with his/her door hard enough to leave a nice amount of their paint on my door. It had been a hard hit but I guess the angle of the strike was such that a dent didn't happen. Since I was kind of dark in the garage I couldn't see how much damage there was, but I could tell that it wasn't just a matter of the other person opening the door and "oops" it tapped my door. It was scraped hard like, "Hey look at that nice truck I don't have, I guess I'll make a statement with my piece of shit and take them down a notch." As you can imagine, I was pissed. I knew immediately what I was going to do to satisfy my need to even things out. The air was to be released from the tires because what's worse than a flat? Four flats. What's worse than four flats? Four flats you can't fill when the air valves are removed. But... at the request of my wife and her informing me there were security cameras in the garage, I backed down and drove home. When I got home I immediately went into action with my arsenal of car care products. Luckily, I was able to remove the other vehicles paint from mine and buff out the scratches to the clear coat. So I was relieved and satisfied.

It wasn't so much that it happened because we all know accidents happen. It seemed very intentional though. It wasn't a tight parking spot and it could have easily been avoided. The bottom line is this: I do not mess with people, their lives, or their property no matter what value I would personally place on it. It is theirs and I respect that. You know, do unto others as you would have them do to you. I want and expect the same from others. I really just want to be left alone and allowed to do what I want as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. But when you mess with me or my family or property- it's on and not easy to turn off. I don't get doing things to others that are negative, but I do have a streak of wanting revenge.

The whole situation reminded me of a scene from "Pulp Fiction" that you can view here on the YouTube.

Photos I don't want to see

I just did a photo shoot last night that I've been doing for three years now. It's easy, somewhat boring, and high paying. Shooting photos of local community members presenting scholarships to high school students is pretty easy. You have your American flag and green drapery background. Other than that you just have to position the people so the bad edge of the background (brick wall and advertisement board) doesn't show. Doing a shoot like this is cake. But who does the photos that show up on the side of the Internet sites I visit? I'd like to know so I could punch them in the face. I don't want to see this

when I'm trying to compose an important email. Jeez! The middle shot looks like something from a Tool video. The top one looks like some kind of child molester. If I become a paid photographer, will I do shots like this for money? Probably, but I won't like it.

Here's another one I can't stand: The fat man/woman mid-section shot. This is always accompanied by a diet pill ad. I find this repulsive. I don't want to see it early in the morning when I'm drinking coffee and checking out the weather online.

Sidebar photos need to be of things I want to see. Like this:

ahhh... sushi. Now that's pretty.

Brainwashed Children Visit Columbia

If Columbia wasn't so diverse I guess we wouldn't be lucky enough to attract the attention of those who feel the need to let us know we're all DOOMED! I'd rather live in a town like mine than one where no one cares to protest, march, or assemble because everyone thinks and is the same- or at least pretends to be out of fear. Sort of like the town where I work.
Check out Drew's photos of the latest visitors to Columbia. Here. I wasn't at the march, but I would have liked to have observed it. Probably better I wasn't there- I might be in jail right now. Just can't stand people pushing their morality on me or others.

Drew Piester Photography

I love photography. I'm not very good at it myself because I never put to memory what I read and learn about it and I don't experiment too much. So I'm a hack. Drew Piester is not a hack. Check him out here.

The above photo is not Drew nor did Drew take that photo. I was looking for a photo of Drew or one he's taken but I didn't want to break any copyrights. I did come upon this photo I liked. Connection to Drew: He's a surfer and he's got a dog. I'm a surfer too. I surf I-70 everyday in my truck. I am the bodazapha of the Columbia/Boonville break.

Hope you had a good birthday Barry... Or should I say...Michael?

Barry?

Or Michael?

Either way, great hair.

Antwane Beefcakes and the Red Beans and Rice

Want to make some good eats on a crap weather day? Make some red beans and rice. I used to live in New Orleans. If you haven't been there you need to go. I've never been to another city in the country that has such a unique flavor. It's not like many other cities that in my opinion could exchange names with another city and still be the same place. Maybe it's the age of the city, the culture, the food, the history... the smell. Whatever it is- it is its own and I loved it when I was there- except for being sick all winter every winter.

My family and I ate a lot of good unique food while we lived there. Champagne brunch at what used to be the the Hilton on the River was one of a kind. I doubt the Hilton is there today after that bitch Katrina came through. I'd like to go back and see what it's like now. Back to the point.I think I will have posted after this post one (if not the only) recipe for red bean and rice that includes photos of the process- and aren't you lucky to have found it. So let's get it on! First you need a helper. This is my helper for the day: Ziggy

He gets really excited about red beans and rice.

Step 1: Get your stuff:

1 lb. red kidney bean (dry- not in a can dufus)

1 thing of celery

1 big onion

1 or two bell peppers (color doesn't matter- unless of course you're "that way")garlic- use as much as you want- I get mine from a jar minced- sorry, I'm not cool enough to chop it up myself. But like the Beastie Boys say, "If you don't like it, then hey fuck you"

1 lb. smoked sausage

few bay leaves

Some thyme leaves- maybe a teaspoon or so.

Worcestershire sauce- some (a few dashes)

hot sauce- I like Frank's or Red Hot or Crystal or Tabasco if you've actually got some down there (and no I'm not talking about your country region- look in your pants)

First you need to plan this meal for the next day. Soak the bean overnight in enough water to cover them. The next day they will look different. Yeah.

Drain out that nasty water and refill it with enough to cover the beans.

Boil the beans for about an hour. Watch out for boiling over.

When you're getting close to the bean getting done, saute' the chopped up onion, pepper, and celery until the onion is just about getting clear. Don't overdo this because you'll be killing the flavor and forever be hated by the vegetable gods who WILL visit you in the night.

Throw all that vegetable stuff in the bean and add the rest of the seasoning. You really need to season it how you like- some like it hot and nasty, some like it smooth and easy. I'm a hot and nasty guy just in case you were wondering.
Add the sausage that should be sliced in about 1/4" pieces. Man, that's some good looking sausage.

Bring it all to a boil again and then turn the heat down to a simmer. There should be movement in the pot while cooking- not a rolling boil by any means, but it should be mixing around. I call it "socializing" It's like, "Hey man, I'm sausage, who are you? Oh I'm bell pepper and I think I like you and your meat." That's nasty, but you're at least smiling now- right?

Now, here's the deal, you need to cook this party for at least 3 or 4 hours. If you don't have that kind of time- wait until you do because it will be better. It will be even better than that the next day after it's all been cooked and cooled down in your fridge. When you are ready to serve it you need to have white rice (or some kind of rice) to put it on and French bread. You put the rice on your plate and ladel the beans over the rice. The bread goes on the side dummy. I really need to apologize for not having a picture of the finished product but by that time Mizzou was about to have their butts out of the NCAA tournament for this year and I had family over and I had a few beers in me. But if you put it all together and it tastes good- you done right. Cheers!

Ghost Bird

The other day in class- actually it was at least a month ago, things were as normal. I was telling all the students how they'd never amount to anything and have a life full of disappointment and regret. All of a sudden Mr. "B", the special ed teacher that claims to work in my class this particular hour, and the rest of us jumped. There was a loud bang and it startled us all. Just a few minutes before I heard pigeons cooing outside. In five years there have never been pigeons on or around the rooftop that is outside the windows of my classroom. Today there were. It made me think that maybe I should put a bird feeder on the roof so when they came to eat we could observe them. Wouldn't that be touching? "Oh look Jimmy, it's a bird at the feeder. Maybe you can talk to it and finally have a friend."

After hearing the birds, things went on as normal, "No goddamnit! I said cross-multiply not divide you fool!" Then was the bang. None of us actually saw it happen, but the results are still there today. I'm not sure what the results are made of, but obviously something was left behind to let us remember the day by.

F'in Old Man Winter

Gawd! Go away. Enough already. Winter needs to end. This has been a crap winter. Almost no snow, very cold for the most part, and boring. I just walk around my house going, "Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored." Freakin' sucks! I'm not built for this. I'm built for heat. I'm like a heat sink- long and slim. I disperse heat. Short round folk keep it in. Everything is dead. I like things alive and green. Winter has it's place, but it's worn out it's welcome. Beat it deadbeat!

I look forward to hearing the peep frogs peep. A true sign of spring. Soon enough I guess. March starts tomorrow and with that it's my birthday month and the month spring begins. Bring it. I wish you well on the ides of March.

P.S. Brady, your prize for GCF and LCM is on it's way. Took me a while to collect. You'll get it this week. Yeah!

Winter Float Pictorial

Did my first winter float on the Current River a couple of weeks ago. It was a unique experience. The weather was actually really warm for February- in the 60s during the day and the upper 30s at night. I got kind of cold sleeping but nothing awful. The fishing on the day of the float was bad. We didn't catch a thing and neither did anyone else we came upon during our eight mile trip from Cedar Grove to Akers Ferry. We had a good time and seeing the Current in the dead of winter is very interesting. You can see the hillsides and the way the land lays with the absence of leaves. It's dead quiet too. I didn't take any pictures on the actual float because it was just too risky having the camera out while trying to steer around all the rootwads. I think we saw close to 15 armadillos during the float and pictured below is one that visited our camp the day we got down there.

My Superbowl pick (just so it's in writing ahead of time)

Cardinals 21-17

I burn my arm (or is that my calf)

Can't tell since they are about the same size. Thanks alot fireplace!

Winter is kind of slow around here.

Didn't seem like much at first. One of those burns that doesn't really hurt. That's because it freakin' killed all the nerves in it's path!

On the heal and looking forward to a cool scar. Way better than a lame lightning bolt on the forehead. You've got nothing Harry...nothing.

Profanity in Fiber

Catchy title. This is my third year being the breakfast supervisor at my school. Basically, my morning consists of making sure I'm in the breakfast/lunchroom every morning by 7:35 when the students are allowed in. Then I get to watch them eat and hopefully clean up any mess they make. You'd be surprised how often they want to leave without cleaning up their area. It's really frustrating. It's like, "Why would you want to leave a mess? That's like taking a crap in the bathtub." So I'm like the breakfast cop. It's not all bad though. Lots of kids come tell me things they otherwise wouldn't since it's an odd time of the day. School hasn't started but they are there and a little more relaxed. Or maybe it's me who's a little more relaxed at that point- not sure. I also get free breakfast everyday and I get paid a whopping $50.00 a month for the job which is about $5.00 an hour.

So we have a big menu at breakfast:

Monday: Pizza

Tuesday: Sausage on a stick wrapped in a pancake (a breakfast corndog! Are you fucking kidding me? No. They even have syrup to dip it in.)

Wednesday: French Toast sticks (holy shit- this is a deep fried heart attack)

Thursday: Biscuits and gravy (THE BEST DAY OF THE WEEK FOR BREAKFAST)

Friday: Sausage egg and cheese biscuits (second best day of the week for breakfast)

Now, you must understand this isn't the full menu. There is also a wide variety of juice and cereal. The continental school breakfast if you will. Thrown in with the mix we also have cinnamon toast, yougurt, bagels, oatmeal, and some other better choices.

It's not all as bad as it seems, but I often opt for the cereal with skim milk and a couple of juice cups. So this brings me to my main idea. This morning I got the Raisin Bran. I like this cereal. It's the most healthy of the ones they offer and a guy needs his fiber. So I open the cereal which conveniently comes in it's own bowl. All you have to do is pour on the milk. Well, on this particular day, they should have just called it "Bran". There wasn't one goddamn raisin in the whole goddamn bowl! It was weird and I took it as a bad omen for the day. A day I was giving a test. Fortunately, the test actually went better than expected. So let's see what you know about 6th grade math. I'll send a prize to the first person who can define "GCF" and "LCM" correctly with an example in the comments section. Good luck. This is not a joke- I'll really send you something. You have to say what the letters stand for and give an example of each.

Coach "K" on the track

I was just informed via email that I "got the job" for coaching track this year. My reply, "Wow! Well, I knew it was a close race." I thought that was appropriate since I was the only one in the race for the job. The high school has been lacking a full coaching staff for the past several years. Last year I was asked to coach, but I really didn't want to since I was already the cross-country coach. Not to mention the fact that the principal here at the time told me, "If you coach anything else it has to be at this school- not the high school." I was fine with that but the superintendent wasn't and ripped the principal a new one. Then he asked me to coach and I still said no. This year I decided to give it a try because they drastically changed the meet schedule and I also figured if I coached I would take the summer off completely and not work like I did last summer doing construction work.

Next week we start running "open track". Basically, I go run and if any other runners want to come out and run with me they are welcome to. It's basically preseason training. We'll see how it goes. I'm cautiously optimistic. It's going to be a lot of extra work of course, but the money is good, I like running with the kids, and I have a summer totally off to look forward to, and the kids want me to coach- so that makes me feel good. I was told that until I agreed to coach that several kids weren't going to run track because they didn't think it was worth it. I'm not bragging, but it's a pretty cool thing when a kid will come out for a sport just because you're the one who's going to be coaching them.

What's new?

Wow! Just made my way back from falling off the earth. It took a lot to get back. Space is big and cold and the lack of gravity takes some getting used to.

A list of events:

Hunted and killed deer

Went to see the Tigers' first loss of the season

Finished another cross-country season

Seduced by brother-in-law's Honda Ridgeline

Traded Element for Ridgeline

Went fishing in Arkansas with Fish and Feather

Caught zero- but still fun

Visit from Santa

Cut and split firewood

Loaded firewood in the Ridgeline

Got Ridgeline stuck in mud and had to get help from a farmer with tractor

Signed up for track coaching

Wondering how that's going to turn out

Currently trying to stay warm