Friday, March 30, 2007


I recently saw a news report on our local news about a certain local news woman who is known at one of our local stations for pulling lots of pranks. She passed on some extremely valuable information I put to use the very next day. I can't tell you all I learned because you might use it on me, but I can and will tell you that putting scotch tape over the receiver button on a co-workers phone and then going to the other room and calling them is well worth the effort. You call them, they pick up the phone and say, "hello?" and the phone contiunes to ring. In my perticular situation this is even better because we have a brand new phone system and it makes the called person feel like they're doing something wrong. So they start pushing all kinds of buttons on the phone and generally getting really frustrated. The only drawback in my situation is that each phone has caller ID, so once they see the tape on the phone- I'm had.
The next prank I intend to use involves donuts and a certain pickling chemical that resembles powdered sugar. I'll let you know...

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

One thing leads to another

First I buy some running shoes- start running. Next thing I know- I'm the new head coach for cross-country at the high school. Actually, there's a lot more to it than that, but it did happen pretty fast once it got rolling. I can't remember if it was my first year here or my second, but another teacher and I were talking about the possibility of cross-country racing coming to the district. It was just kind of talk- no planning or asking. I always thought it would be cool to coach cross-country and more interesting to me than football had been. But I was a football coach and we didn't have cross-country. Then there was a track coach clinic in the winter and the possibility of bringing cross-country to our district came up. My name got dropped for the coaching position. More time passes and the position becomes a reality. I apply. I interview with others. I become the coach. I make the paper. I'm famous in a small town. Yeah! Now it's my job to grow the sport locally and start a tradition. Apparently we had cross-country here about 15 or 20 years ago and it just kind of died out. It's kind of exciting to be the guy in charge of trying to bring it back.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

The rainbow returns- and I thought nothing was going on.

Last year sometime I posted about how diverse Columbia is as a town. On the day that prompted my post I was almost run over by a couple of redneck dicks in a monster truck. Later that day I got a flat tire on my ride and was offered help by none other than the mayor of our city. Columbia is a university city and that brings a lot of diversity. I'm glad to say it's a pretty progressive place to live.
Unfortunately, we have some not-so-progressive thinkers coming out to parade this weekend. The National Socialist Movement will be putting on a parade downtown this Saturday. The NSM is the largest neo-Nazi movement in the US today. I don't know how they came up with their name, but I've elected to give them the nickname, "butthole". I mean think about it, why go to the trouble of saying, "Hey dude, I'm in the National Socialist Party." Or you might confuse someone by saying, "I'm in the NSM." No, no, no. Just use the k.i.s.s. (keep it simple stupid) method and say, "I'm a butthole." Everyone will know what you mean. Nonetheless, here they come on Saturday. Not much to be done about it but ignore them I guess. Apparently a couple of years ago they were having a parade or rally in Toledo, OH and it started a four hour riot. I can only hope it doesn't come to that.
Well, whatever happens maybe it'd be swallowed a little easier with this .