A Rainbow of Redneck color

Columbia is a strange town. We're small enough to have big redneck hics and big enough to have enough diversity that lots of people feel good about hanging the rainbow coalition flag outside their door. It seems on some rides you experince all the rednecks- screaming at you, sometimes throwing beer bottles, screaming at you, swerving towards you, screaming at you... I hate those rides. I get home feeling lucky to be alive. Then somedays it's like every one you encounter is waving and smiling like you're some friend of theirs. I don't know what determines one day from the next on who you're going to meet up with, but a couple of days ago I got the ultimate mix.
I'm out riding, everything going fine, and I had just turned into a nice tailwind. All of a sudden I look up and there's a monster truck 4X4 in my lane headed straight for me. It was close enough I was just about to take the ditch when he swerved back to his side. So as he passed I did what I shouldn't do and gave him the finger. He and his buddy were smiling and laughing. I guess he didn't realize that "shit happens" and although he probably didn't have any true intention of hitting me, he could have easily killed me with a small miscalculation of throttle or wheel. That's like putting a gun to your head that you're 100% sure isn't loaded and blowing your brains out. Oops! So I was pissed and reacted. Probably a mistake because I quickly realized he could easily turn around and come back for the kill since I had nowhere to hide or run. It was just open ground. I kept riding and looking over my shoulder and decided I better get off the road. I hopped on the trail and started making my way home. It was cool because I hadn't been on the trail since winter. I'm just riding along and thinking about the incident when I notice my ride is getting really comfortable and cushy. Mostly flat tired feel that way. I wasn't worried or pissed at this point. I was just happy to be alive- besides, I wasn't far from town and I was just crusing at this point. I pull over and start to change my flat. Tools out, wheel off, in the shade. The first flat I've had on this particular bike. I'm in the middle of pulling out the flat tube when I hear, "Hey, you got a problem?" I'm thinking, "By words, that sounds like it could be a redneck with a tire iron ready to bash in my head. But the tone says, "Need some help?"" I look up and it's the freakin' Mayor of Columbia. Just an aside- have you ever noticed he looks like Alfred E. Neuman? Not making fun of him- just an observation. To make a long story longer, he just checked to see if I needed anything. I told him I had what I needed and thanks- so he rolled on. Nice of him to stop though huh? Columbia has it all.